[ he's still reeling. from the presence of his son. from the realization that he has a son. from the knowledge that at some unspecified point in the near future, he loses everything: his life, his wife, his child before anakin ever truly has him.
when he calls, an undercurrent of tension thrums through his voice that anakin cannot quite mask. ] Have a moment?
[Finn, in comparison, sounds duller— listless in a way that doesn't seem to match the bright-eyed intensity he so often wears. Looks like they've both had it.] For you, yeah.
—yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. [As convincing in the moment as you'd imagine, and he realizes that much at least. There's a pause where he scrapes his palm across his face, inhaling deeply: Anakin probably ought to know the truth. It's not like he was invested, but he was there for them. All of them.] It's just that Rey got...sent away. Different mission or something.
[Which was bad enough when it happened. Struck him right in the face like the back of Ren's fist on Starkiller, turning his world over in an instant. But at least for that shock Poe Dameron had still been around.]
Poe too, just now.
[And him, left behind without them for no reason he can understand.]
[ more than unfortunate, it bordered on cruel: they were all close. that was plain to see. strange that they would all be separated. he didn't think they had volunteered for a mission. like everything else related to alastair, it felt wrong.
a sigh. ] They might be reassigned. Don't give up hope. I doubt they'll want to be away any more than you do.
[ he, who resolved to stare down death, hasn't yet. alastair is much easier to circumvent. ]
No. [There's a hardness to it. A finality that he's holding onto as much as it hurts. He was tired, he'd told Poe. And everything he wanted out of this— their company, spending every day from sunrise to sunset just existing with the people he cares about nearby rather than worrying about the state of the universe or how he could possibly affect it— was selfish. It was always selfish. And maybe after living so long with the First Order breathing down his neck, it was warranted.
But they matter more.]
It's better this way; they're away from him. [He has to wear it on his sleeve, burn it down into his skin along with the scars and repeat it like a mantra.]
No, he can't. [ kylo ren: the newest thorn in anakin's side. one he would love to be rid of, and yet he can't. if he is being punished, it's unfairly. nothing he has done warrants this. except slaughtering an entire tusken camp, maybe. ]
That's partly why I'm calling. I came across someone. A little younger than you. He says his name is Luke Skywalker.
[ a pause. if finn recognizes the name, that would make two. ]
I'm keeping an eye on him, but I can't be with him all the time. Kylo Ren must not know of him.
[Somewhere on the other end of the line, Finn's heart has stopped beating. For a second, for a moment, but it's long enough that he feels it in his throat when it comes back to him again, heavy. So, so heavy. His own thoughts are swimming and the room is spinning, and idea that Anakin might not know his father is nothing new (he'd assumed— he'd had to— that Luke had kept his son far from his side for his own safety) and if he does know now—
No. No, that's none of his business. That doesn't matter.
He has to be focused. He has to be strong and steady and everything he promised himself he would be when there were lives at stake the way they are now. So Finn takes one deep, bracing breath:] Luke Skywalker??
I believe there is only one. [ haha he has to believe because he only knows next to nothing, his life is a joke.
but it means… it means a lot. further proof of something he had already assumed as true. his son does live. he makes a name for himself. kylo ren would have anakin believe luke turns against his father and his mother. that he would further sow chaos in a galaxy that both had sacrificed so much to restore to order.
everything spoken by a follower of the dark must be taken with a pinch of doubt, that he already knew. they will lie and twist the truth to suit their needs. ( as do the jedi, a fact he keeps at the fringes of his awareness. ) for all his talk, ren was no different: believing his own lies, trying to feed them to anakin. luke is not thus. his son could not be thus. ]
Okay. [Breathless, constricted by the way he's set his own fingers to the bridge of his nose with his eyes pinched shut.] Okay, okay.
[Luke Skywalker's here. Luke Skywalker's here because of course he is. Because even galaxies apart, somehow Finn can't escape the shadow of Luke's very existence or the fact that everyone out there is gunning for him. why is the question he wants to ask, to the Force or a nest of deities or whatever is out there pulling every string in existence.
Why is he always the one that's responsible for a man he's never even met and wants nothing to do with.] He needs somebody looking out for him, I can do that.
But I'm gonna need a weapon. I can't fight off Kylo Ren if it comes down to it with some sharpened sticks and a rock. [Well, technically he's sure he could, but the match would last for a good five seconds at best.] If you come across anything solid in the hands of some of the other recruits, you let me know.
[ approval meets the quick decision. solidifies his choice as correct. years served alongside the clone troopers had given anakin great respect for them. he expected no less from their future echoes. ]
That's the other thing I was calling for. How does your own lightsaber sound?
How did you even— did you make one? Did you make me a lightsaber?!
[There's a rise in his voice, pitch and volume and he's not breathing between questions because there's no point to it with everything else on the table.]
Yes! Yes?? YES.
[And he's laughing without realizing it, beaming somewhere across the line.] Hell yes, I'm ready for this - I was born ready for this!
[ anakin is laughing too. for once he sounds exactly his age: young and eager. he remembers his excitement when told he would finally, finally be allowed to choose a kyber crystal. as he had been to make the his hilt, drawing on experience and personal preference to craft something that would be wholly his. ]
I made it, yeah. First one; somehow ALASTAIR had it. I already looked it over and tested it. Works as well as ever.
Oh man. [Easy, Finn. Easy. One foot in front of the other, and remember what Solo said. There's a job that needs doing, after all, and if it really is Luke Skywalker that's turned up, it's a big one: getting swept up or sidetracked is dangerous.]
Should I come over to get it? —I'm coming over. [A+ focus, Finn.] Give me five, ten minutes tops and I'll be there.
[And sure enough he's there at the entrance to the village's communal living spaces within the span of a few minutes, panting through his teeth with his hands on his hips while he scouts out the local faces. There's a chance he was wrong about Anakin's location (things he should have asked before setting a timed limit— what if he's just shot himself in the figurative foot re: getting a lightsaber? what if Anakin thinks he's not taking this seriously?) but it's already too late for second guesses: running off now means he might accidentally overlook a face in the crowd and miss his friend entirely.]
[ waiting on the edges of the crowd, safely ensconced in the shade of a balcony, anakin spots finn a short time after his arrival. he should have felt finn's arrival. non-force users are always more difficult to locate, but familiarity and time made it easier, both of which necessity had obliged. it should not have been a problem.
another dilemma. his connection to the force waned each day. it felt like slowly going blind.
pushing away from the wall, he calls, ] Finn! [ one hand raised to get finn's attention. the lightsaber is kept out of view inside one of his voluminous sleeves. these people were unlikely to recognize it for what it is. regardless, anakin is not so crass to wave a weapon over their ( very, very short ) heads.
for the moment, he has extricated himself from luke. asking someone to keep an eye on his son while said son was present presumably would not go over too well. it wasn't that anakin did not trust luke; luke, like finn, were among the few anakin did.
he just does not trust luke not to somehow lock himself in a closet or go swimming without swimming well or decide to visit a volcano's crater because why not?? it's right there???? ]
[And there it is: relief in the form of a familiar face. Finn flashes the start of a smile as he sets forward again, slower this time, lifting a hand to wipe the sting of salt-sweat from his cheeks, his brow. Even without the Force, the closer Finn gets, the easier it is to see the way his eyeline darts expectantly, practically broadcasting the fact that what he's looking for isn't exactly what he sees.
If he had time to mull it all over, he might consider it strangely ironic, getting so worked up about something as unthinkable as being gifted a lightsaber— let alone his own. But the truth of the matter is, he's learned the hard way it's just about the only surefire defense against Kylo Ren, and he's tired— really, really tired— of watching good people take the brunt of it because of him. So sure, it's scary in a way he's not exactly staring down at the moment (something he knows he'll have to stare down later, once the adrenaline dies off) but it's also a means to stand on his own. To be something more.
[ strongly convinced that finn might explode if anakin plays keep away, he produces the lightsaber. lighter, more slender than his second lightsaber with a black lens housing in place of silver. every piece, from its housing to the grip to the kyber crystal he himself found and activated, designed and molded to his exacting specifications. a good lightsaber. he, who already favored strong blows, needed a strong weapon. seven years, it served him well.
anakin holds it out. ]
This weapon is your life. [ solemn now; a lightsaber is no toy, and what he's asking not a game. ] It's a great responsibility. Remember that.
[Finn's young. It's obvious in the way that he tackles the world itself in spite of everything he's lived through, or how there's no iron-clad commitment to closing himself off; at times, it's easy to think that's all there is to him.
But he's still a soldier.
Maybe not vetted-- not tried and true the way that real troopers, not cadets, were-- but he was raised with a squad behind him (his responsibility, Phasma had told him time and time again) and for almost the entirety of his life that was all he knew. So once Anakin meets his stare with the expectation of commitment, the switch from Finn to FN-2187 comes quick. Clean. He doesn't blink; he doesn't look away for a second, hands still at his side to show the full depth of his priorities.] As long as I live.
[ and anakin a general, tested and proven. not born to be a soldier as the clones were, not raised as one as finn had been. ( he had been born to serve, but in a different manner, for another inhuman purpose. ) the war forgave no one and exempted no one, especially not those who would keep the peace.
three years spent at the frontline, risking himself along with his soldiers, relying on one another time and time again. clones all of them. all of them individuals; all of them different. and among those under his command, the bravest, most loyal men anakin had the honor of knowing.
if the jedi taught him the value of peace, among the clone troopers, he gained patience, restraint and a sense of camaraderie he sought without being aware of the depths of his starvation.
anakin knows soldiers. finn proved himself when they met: again and again and again tolerating the impossible in order to protect another. not only is this an easy decision, it feels right.
expression relaxing to a soft urging, anakin glances to the weapon. ] It's yours.
[There's a weight to it when he takes the saber from Anakin, not from metal or the components wrapped up safely inside, but because there's a meaning to the exchange: in the vast expanse of the galaxy itself he's seen only two. And people run from them, fear them, look up to what a lightsaber stands for even if they don't really know the stories by heart. In truth, he doesn't think he deserves it.
That doesn't mean he can't earn it, though.]
Thank you.
[And for that, grip locked tight around the hilt, he finally flashes a grin.] You know for what it's worth, I'm glad you're still around.
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audio.
when he calls, an undercurrent of tension thrums through his voice that anakin cannot quite mask. ] Have a moment?
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What's up.
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Are you okay?
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[Which was bad enough when it happened. Struck him right in the face like the back of Ren's fist on Starkiller, turning his world over in an instant. But at least for that shock Poe Dameron had still been around.]
Poe too, just now.
[And him, left behind without them for no reason he can understand.]
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[ more than unfortunate, it bordered on cruel: they were all close. that was plain to see. strange that they would all be separated. he didn't think they had volunteered for a mission. like everything else related to alastair, it felt wrong.
a sigh. ] They might be reassigned. Don't give up hope. I doubt they'll want to be away any more than you do.
[ he, who resolved to stare down death, hasn't yet. alastair is much easier to circumvent. ]
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But they matter more.]
It's better this way; they're away from him. [He has to wear it on his sleeve, burn it down into his skin along with the scars and repeat it like a mantra.]
Kylo Ren can't hurt them if they're not here.
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except slaughtering an entire tusken camp, maybe.]That's partly why I'm calling. I came across someone. A little younger than you. He says his name is Luke Skywalker.
[ a pause. if finn recognizes the name, that would make two. ]
I'm keeping an eye on him, but I can't be with him all the time. Kylo Ren must not know of him.
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No. No, that's none of his business. That doesn't matter.
He has to be focused. He has to be strong and steady and everything he promised himself he would be when there were lives at stake the way they are now. So Finn takes one deep, bracing breath:] Luke Skywalker??
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
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that answers that. ]
I believe there is only one. [ haha he has to believe because he only knows next to nothing, his life is a joke.
but it means… it means a lot. further proof of something he had already assumed as true. his son does live. he makes a name for himself. kylo ren would have anakin believe luke turns against his father and his mother. that he would further sow chaos in a galaxy that both had sacrificed so much to restore to order.
everything spoken by a follower of the dark must be taken with a pinch of doubt, that he already knew. they will lie and twist the truth to suit their needs. ( as do the jedi, a fact he keeps at the fringes of his awareness. ) for all his talk, ren was no different: believing his own lies, trying to feed them to anakin. luke is not thus. his son could not be thus. ]
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[Luke Skywalker's here. Luke Skywalker's here because of course he is. Because even galaxies apart, somehow Finn can't escape the shadow of Luke's very existence or the fact that everyone out there is gunning for him. why is the question he wants to ask, to the Force or a nest of deities or whatever is out there pulling every string in existence.
Why is he always the one that's responsible for a man he's never even met and wants nothing to do with.] He needs somebody looking out for him, I can do that.
But I'm gonna need a weapon. I can't fight off Kylo Ren if it comes down to it with some sharpened sticks and a rock. [Well, technically he's sure he could, but the match would last for a good five seconds at best.] If you come across anything solid in the hands of some of the other recruits, you let me know.
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That's the other thing I was calling for. How does your own lightsaber sound?
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[Full stop.]
—What?
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[ a beat. ]
Unless you've changed your mind.
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[There's a rise in his voice, pitch and volume and he's not breathing between questions because there's no point to it with everything else on the table.]
Yes! Yes?? YES.
[And he's laughing without realizing it, beaming somewhere across the line.] Hell yes, I'm ready for this - I was born ready for this!
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I made it, yeah. First one; somehow ALASTAIR had it. I already looked it over and tested it. Works as well as ever.
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Should I come over to get it? —I'm coming over. [A+ focus, Finn.] Give me five, ten minutes tops and I'll be there.
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[ empty threat is empty, but this just about the best thing he's had all week, thanks finn. ]
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6 minutes later because HUSTLING;
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another dilemma. his connection to the force waned each day. it felt like slowly going blind.
pushing away from the wall, he calls, ] Finn! [ one hand raised to get finn's attention. the lightsaber is kept out of view inside one of his voluminous sleeves. these people were unlikely to recognize it for what it is. regardless, anakin is not so crass to wave a weapon over their ( very, very short ) heads.
for the moment, he has extricated himself from luke. asking someone to keep an eye on his son while said son was present presumably would not go over too well. it wasn't that anakin did not trust luke; luke, like finn, were among the few anakin did.
he just does not trust luke not to somehow lock himself in a closet or go swimming without swimming well or decide to visit a volcano's crater because why not?? it's right there???? ]
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If he had time to mull it all over, he might consider it strangely ironic, getting so worked up about something as unthinkable as being gifted a lightsaber— let alone his own. But the truth of the matter is, he's learned the hard way it's just about the only surefire defense against Kylo Ren, and he's tired— really, really tired— of watching good people take the brunt of it because of him. So sure, it's scary in a way he's not exactly staring down at the moment (something he knows he'll have to stare down later, once the adrenaline dies off) but it's also a means to stand on his own. To be something more.
That's the part he likes.] Did you bring it?
[Translation: hi.]
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anakin holds it out. ]
This weapon is your life. [ solemn now; a lightsaber is no toy, and what he's asking not a game. ] It's a great responsibility. Remember that.
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But he's still a soldier.
Maybe not vetted-- not tried and true the way that real troopers, not cadets, were-- but he was raised with a squad behind him (his responsibility, Phasma had told him time and time again) and for almost the entirety of his life that was all he knew. So once Anakin meets his stare with the expectation of commitment, the switch from Finn to FN-2187 comes quick. Clean. He doesn't blink; he doesn't look away for a second, hands still at his side to show the full depth of his priorities.] As long as I live.
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three years spent at the frontline, risking himself along with his soldiers, relying on one another time and time again. clones all of them. all of them individuals; all of them different. and among those under his command, the bravest, most loyal men anakin had the honor of knowing.
if the jedi taught him the value of peace, among the clone troopers, he gained patience, restraint and a sense of camaraderie he sought without being aware of the depths of his starvation.
anakin knows soldiers. finn proved himself when they met: again and again and again tolerating the impossible in order to protect another. not only is this an easy decision, it feels right.
expression relaxing to a soft urging, anakin glances to the weapon. ] It's yours.
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That doesn't mean he can't earn it, though.]
Thank you.
[And for that, grip locked tight around the hilt, he finally flashes a grin.] You know for what it's worth, I'm glad you're still around.
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